Naked Reality* (circa 2012)
“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.”
Yves Saint Laurent laid down that little bit of lady logic many years ago and it’s true. People always say women look stunning when they’re in love, are pregnant or are flush from a romantic rendezvous. That’s how make-up got its start probably. Cleopatra wanted to captivate Antony with her bedroom eyes and voila, mascara and eyeliner were invented.
Somewhere along the line, women bought into the idea hook, line and sinker that to be “professional,” “sexy,” and most of all “acceptable” – we had to put paint all over our faces. Not all women feel this way, of course, but with billions upon billions of dollars spent annually on makeup in the U.S. alone – it’s a fair bet a lot of them do.
Of course, when you’ve got people like Rush Limbaugh (wait, is that an oxymoron?) asking questions like he did about Hillary Clinton when she was running for office in 2008: "Will Americans want to watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?" …
… And you’ve got the U.K.’s Daily Mail in 2011 leading a story with the opening sentence: “Katie Couric looks stressed out as she heads out in New York without a scrap of make-up on.” …
And in 2009, a story on the Huffington Post was titled, “In Defense of Sarah Palin’s Makeup” …
… is it any wonder women slather on what some call “war paint” before they go out for a Starbucks run or a board meeting?
For most of my life, I’ve had a love affair with make-up. Like most women, I've spent an inordinate amount of time and money selecting, buying, and smearing goop of various kinds all over my face before letting myself go out in public.
They say a woman spends about 20 minutes a day “doing” her face. Even if you cut that in half and multiply it out over 50 years, sheesh, that’s 127 days of a life – spent amplifying one’s looks. What could we do in the world, or just for our own selves, if we weren’t wasting time covering up and coloring our faces?
I wonder how much money I’d have in the bank if I hadn’t spent all those years covering my real face with a fake face that would be accepted … by employers, strangers, bankers, friends, dates – even myself. Good grief. I probably could have traveled the world or saved enough for the down payment on my dream house by now. If only I’d been brave enough to face the world like a man – naked-faced!
Look, I’m under no illusions about what matters in the world. Or about what aspects of myself have the highest currency value in this world. I know I have value as a writer, but still, you'd be surprised at the number of people -- men and women -- who show up at my book signings and tell me without a trace of self-consciousness, that they came simply to see "whether you look anything like your column photo."
I always laugh outwardly and cringe inwardly when this happens. Mostly, I just wish they’d buy my books and ignore my looks.
(The answer, to save anyone else the trouble, is — hell, no! The photo that runs with my blog and column is two years old, was taken after a full night’s sleep, and yes, dang it all, I had make-up on!)
That love affair with makeup ended at about the same time that I left my ex-husband. When I divorced, as happens with many people, I was left with the detritus of everything I didn't like about myself — in my case, the woman I’d become in the course of an unhappy marriage.
For me, part of that navel-gazing involved considering whether I ever wanted to wear make-up again. I’d long railed against the asinine industry that tells women that our natural faces are not good enough. I’d long questioned whether a man would ask me out if he met me when I wasn’t wearing make-up. I’d long battled with my feminist self that found it self-negating to put paint on my face just so I could face the world. The divorce made reevaluate everything.
When I thought about what I wasdoing, what I was saying to the world and to myself when I put on make-up, I felt deceptive on one hand and pissed off on the other.
Because, for a large swath of society, make-up legitimizes a woman.
But when I put it on these days, I often feel as fake as a three-dollar bill.
Despite all this, I’m 99% certain I won’t be changing my make-up deception anytime soon. I’m known to the world one way and I’m not sure I have the guts to change that now. I’ll probably play the makeup game until I die.
And the stuff I’ I’m wearing on the outside will always irritate me, more than a little, on the inside.
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*Parts of this Vintage from the Vault essay were previously published in my erstwhile Sarasota Herald Tribune “Sense and the City” column and in my long ago/far away "Reality Online” blog.
I’ve always admired those natural beauties out there. While I do enhance my face with a bit of eyeliner, lip gloss…I’ve never been a heavily made up gal ( not that I haven’t wondered what a makeup artist could do with my looks!). As always I appreciate this read and what’s behind the make up…You are a natural beauty…outwardly and internally MC. Thank you for making us go deep within ourselves.
You look beautiful without makeup MC!! I too have never been much for slathering on a lot of makeup, and thanks to the pandemic and mask wearing, I've only used mascara. In fact, when this is all over, the bit of foundation I do use, will be dried up. Just might not buy it again. As always, thanks for a nice read.